How to: Get your hands working on some meaty balls

If you’re trying to watch what you’re shoving down your throat, then you know you shouldn’t be eating out frequently. You just don’t know where it’s been or what it contains.

Hmm..

Anyway, I have a like-dislike relationship with cooking. I dislike cooking because I’m a college student, it’s a hassle, and a waste of my procrastination time. I like it though because I save money, which I could use on other more pointless things. I also save on calories, which means less time in the gym burning them off.

Spaghetti with Meatballs

Making your balls:
3/4 lbs ground turkey breast
3/4 lbs ground beef (leaner the better; I used 90/10)
1 egg
1/2 cup chopped parsley
1 onion, minced
3 garlic cloves, minced
3/4 tsp salt (more or less depending on your taste)
1/2 tsp black pepper (more or less depending on your taste)
1/2 cup bread crumbs if you want (I didn’t)

I hate cutting up onions too, but do it anyway. It adds to the flavor. Combine everything. The good thing about making meatballs at home is that you have control over how big or how small you want your balls to be. Who doesn’t like to be in control? I say go big or go cry me a river with those onions. Heat a little bit of olive oil in a skillet. I personally didn’t even have to use much. Cook them over medium heat until well browned. Take them off the heat and keep for later. They’ll finish cooking completely in the sauce.

I didn't have a skillet so I used this large pot instead. Added bonus: less time spent on dishes.

That's after I put half in the pot to cook. I've got balls. Don't mess with me.

Making your sauce:
1-28 oz Muir Glen Fire Roasted Crushed Tomatoes
1/2 onion, minced
3 garlic cloves, minced

Cook the onions and garlic cloves first until slightly browned. Add in the Muir Glen Fire Roasted Crushed Tomatoes. Simmer. Remember those balls you kept? Let them in on the fun. Cover and let the whole thing get hot and heavy simmer for 20 minutes.

Making your noodles:
Really? Do I need to explain this one?

Makes like 6 servings. That’s enough to feed yourself, your significant other, and some lucky, broke college students roaming the streets. About 460 calories per serving.

Not my fault if it doesn’t taste good.

-Z.

PS:

The boyfriend noticed this. I had no idea.

I love my best friend, but..

..sometimes I wonder how I allowed myself to be best friends with such a retard.

I bought him that pink poop because he's always talking to me about his dump. Always. He tells me he needs to take one, texts me while he's taking one, and/or describes it to me after he's done taking one. Ridiculous.

rb. says:
guess what i’m sipping on.
JD says:
penis?
rb. says:
HAHA, whattttt..you byuntae*.
JD says:
lol
i knew it was unlikely
soju†?
rbc. says:
HAHA, no dude! i have class in a few! i’m having iced nonfat caramel macchiato. it’s been a long time since i’ve had coffee.
JD says:
i woulda never guessed that
ice nonfat caramel macchiato
thats way too specific
lol
its like me drinking
chocolate nesquick milk with whole milk
and chocolate syrup
haha
maybe a penis
O.o
jk

To be honest, I miss his ugly face.

-Z.

*byuntae means “pervert” in Korean
†soju is this Korean alcohol

Someone got owned hardcore during class

We were going over what autobiography is especially in comics and what that means etc. You could tell by the way the girl talked in class that she thought she was awesome for contributing something so cool and different.

Girl: I have a friend who was so touched & inspired by James Frey’s “A Million Little Pieces” that she decided to get off the streets & go back to school. But when everyone found out that the book was a lie, she went back to the streets.
Professor: Um, uh..hm, haha, no offense to your, to your friend, but isn’t it a bit off that uh your friend this is, right?
Girl: Yes
Professor: But isn’t it extreme she decided her life’s course based on the truth or fiction of one book? I mean, I’m sorry to hear about your friend, with all due respect, but it just seems odd.

I wanted to turn around, point a finger at her, and yell out “YOU GOT OWNED!” But I didn’t.

She left during the break.

Lesson of the day: knowing someone who’s into drugs doesn’t make you cool.

-Z.

PS: Oh and by the way, I have these friends who dropped out of high school, who got pregnant, and who are or were in rehab. I hang out with really messed up kids. You know, just throwing it out there. I know, I’m just such a rebel for knowing these kids. People should respect me and think I’m cool for that.

I would have respected her comment if she wasn’t such a know-it-all snob in each and every lecture.

Best compliment of the year

That is my Facebook profile picture, HAHA.

C: who’s the girl in ur pic?
Me: meeeee.
C: wut? im lost
Me: haha she’s my role model.
C: who is she? and do we have to tell tila?
Me: this girl can beat tila’s ass.
C: yeah she looks better to. is she a boxer?
Me: mma fighter, gina caranooooo♥
C: she almost looks like a white version of u, this gina girl
C: i mean when u said u are her, i looked at it again and u have similar features

I don’t care if this is true or not. I’m believing it anyway!

EDIT!

So because of lookingforsomethingtofind’s comment on this post, I went back and looked through the few pictures of my face that I put up on this blog. I wonder now, do I share something with Gina?

From my older post.

My narcissism shot up through the ceiling today.

-Z.

The Invisible Bra

My dream last night was aggressive, but when I woke up and realized what it was about, it’s funny as hell.

I was with some guy friends eating at a restaurant when two girls walked in with some shopping bags. One girl had a red shirt on and the other one basically didn’t have anything to cover her boobs. No shirt, no bra. A friend of mine was offended by this and told her nicely to put a shirt on. She was one of those girls who think she’s hot shit and no one can tell her what to do.

Him: Hey, we’re trying to eat here. Could you cover yourself?
Her: I am covered.
Him: No, you’re not.
Her: This is actually a $100 invisible bra that I just bought. Deal with it.

She rolled her eyes and ignored everything else my friend said.

Me: Girl, you better put something on. This isn’t a stripper club, you fucking slut.
Her: Did you just call me a slut?!
Me: What, you got something on me? Go find yourself a pimp.
Her: Why you got a problem with me and not my friend?
Me: Are you fucking stupid? She’s covered. You have a stupid transparent bra on.

She got really mad and started charging at me. She missed. I pushed her to the ground and started beating the light out of her. She was trying to hit me back, but I put her in a losing position. My friends had to pull me  off her. I found her bra. I guess it must have fallen off her somehow. I threw it at her face and said, “here’s your $100 shit bra.”

Woke up.

R, the boxing club president, was in my other dream. I don’t remember too much of that one though. Thank god because I don’t want to remember him yelling at everyone to do 100 burpees. I sleep to sleep; I don’t sleep to work out.

-Z.

I cheated Death by 15 minutes last night

Someone got stabbed in the neck a few blocks from the stop I get off at.

My bus was running a little late and I got there about 15 minutes after the stabbing happened. K9 units were up and about. That’s a big deal. Stabbing someone in the neck is not an accident.

I had a conversation with one of the policemen–
Me: Hey, can I cross the police line? I need to get to my gym and it’s straight that way.
Him: No, you have to go around for your safety.
Me: All the way around?!
Him: All the way around.
Me: What happened anyway?
Him: Someone got stabbed.
Me: OH MY GOD,  COME WITH ME. YOU SHOULD WALK ME TO MY GYM.

He laughed at me and told me I’ll be fine. When I finally made my way around the place, another police guy waved at me and told me to be safe.

I wish that I had seen this happen first hand. I could be a witness. Well, everything happens for a reason. Maybe if I had gotten there right at seven, the suspect could have stabbed me next — in my ovaries.

-Z.

Star Wars Rap

Reading DrunkenScholar’s post about the Star Wars concert made me remember this video I watched so long ago.

Wanted to share:

-Z.

I have such a temper sometimes

This is a rant.

One of the workouts that the boxing tryout makes us do is the infamous plank. There’s the regular plank and the two side planks. Keep each plank up for 5 minutes. Oh, and if anybody falls, that adds one second.

I thought, “one second, HAHAHAHA.”

For the regular plank, we accumulated 80 seconds.
For the right side plank, we accumulated 93 seconds.
For the left side plank, we accumulated 110 seconds.

The seconds mocked me, “IN YO FAYCE, Z, HAHAHAHA”

I lost it by the time we accumulated 53 seconds on the right side plank. I yelled at this guy to my left to shut the hell up; I couldn’t stand his ass whimpering anymore. When we got about 70 seconds on the left side plank, I got fed up and punched the gravel. Yes, gravel. We were doing these planks on gravel. We do everything on gravel: push-ups, wheel barrows, sit-ups, burpees, you name it. It builds character.

I’m disappointed that the picture isn’t doing a good job showing the bruises on my third, fourth, and fifth knuckles and the gravel gash on my pointy finger knuckle which actually bled for a bit. I’ll just punch harder next time.

-Z.

PS – My pinky finger is bent inward because a fat guy stepped on it while I was sitting in my Taekwondo dojo back in middle school. It fractured my pinky. I ended up dealing with the swollen thing for about two weeks before going to the doctor because I could still move it and didn’t think it was a big deal. During those two weeks, my bone started healing while my pinky was bent at an off angle. I needed a cast for 3 months up to my elbow. If I want a straight pinky, the doctor would have to break it again and heal it at the correct angle. I said no thanks.

Who would have guessed.

I’m almost tempted to get the Swine Flu

Dead serious. With a schedule like mine, I want to take back my post forever ago about wanting to be more proactive. At least with the H1N1, I could stay out of school with a docter’s note and I could skip out on a few boxing tryouts without them thinking I’m slacking off. Heaven.

The problem:
I have a philosophy exam on Thursday.

The solution:
Spend all day Wednesday (today) studying for it.

The problems of the solution:
1030-1520 — Classes (philosophy & comics)
1600-1800 — Boxing try out*
1900 — Leave for my boxing gym
2200 — Come back from my boxing gym
2201 — Kill myself:

-Z.

*There are so many steroids driven guys trying out. I need to ask Hulk if he could pretend to be me for the next four weeks.

Whenever I get a headache…

…I tell people that Athena will be springing out of my head in a few minutes.

Just like that.

No joke, I say it all the time.

Leaving you with this:

That's my kind of guy.

-Z.

PS – I suffered a muscle cramp in my left shoulder just now from composing Symphony No. 5 in C Minor by Beethoven like a retard in my seat, in front of my computer, next to the boyfriend, behind a window from the second floor where people can probably see me if they look closely. I have a newfound respect for composers now.